Lonely? Don’t Reach for Your Phone

Meant to connect people from all parts of the world, social media such as Twitter and Facebook, now actually cause people to become more isolated and lonely than ever before.  They tend to amplify the fear of loneliness. For example, in Facebook you see that your friends have partners, spouses and a life better than yours.  And even if you are in a relationship, your partner or spouse really does not understand you making you detached, isolated and lonely.  You look for your ex and you see pictures of her with a new spouse all smiling and happy as they wallow in a Jacuzzi in France. And the worse thing about it is that she looks even happier with him than she was with you.

This shakes your self-confidence and you begin to doubt yourself. Pretty soon feelings of being a loser in life and worthlessness set in and you fall into depression. You start to feel lousy and seriously ask yourself if you have made the wrong choice.

We often have the notion that single people are the only ones who are supposed to feel lonely.  What we aren’t aware of is the fact that married people can also suffer from loneliness and that loneliness can be even much worse than the ones single people go through during weekends and holidays. More often than not, single people do adapt and even eventually thrive from their being alone.  They often find ways to occupy themselves.  Besides, being single gives them the opportunity to catch anyone they fancy.

But when you’re married, that opportunity gets closed (unless it is done in a clandestine manner which in essence, is tantamount to cheating). This can lead to serious consequences. You have your finances, kids, and mortgage to worry about as these things involve joint responsibility between you and your spouse. And then there’s commitment as well. Your life turns even worse when someone who used to love you has now turned into a stranger or you are left with the kids who seem to be seriously affected by the break up. You may be one of the thousands or even hundreds of thousands of people who feel this way. Unfortunately, Facebook and social media tend to only exacerbate this feeling.

Loneliness begins in the mind. Some people are predisposed to this feeling and most of them adapt and live normal single or married lives. People who are not predisposed to loneliness and who are in a relationship or marry may experience isolation and loneliness from time to time. But when they become all too common and frequent, it can lead to health risks such as depression, sleeplessness, drug abuse, alcoholism, high blood pressure, and overeating.

Stay away from Facebook if you are feeling blue. Avoid the urge to search for exes and friends and even strangers.  The internet is a wonderful tool that can edify you and keep yourself occupied with things that are more substantive. If you feel lonely, the net has a lot of forums whereby strangers are sharing the experiences you may be undergoing and providing help to those that need it. 

Although this side of Facebook is one very good reason to deactivate and delete your account (if that’s even possible), before you do that, you also need to look at this website from a different perspective; it can also be a way to stay in touch with your immediate family (your kids, spouse, parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces, and nephews). It is also a site where you can establish friendship with people from other countries and get to know cultures from around the world.

When you’ve got real friends, it’s also a good idea to stay in touch to know what is happening in their lives. Try not to be tempted in searching for former relationships that were really problematic to begin with.  More importantly do not get hurt when you message a ‘friend’ and you don’t get a reply.  Your happiness should not be based on whether that ‘friend’ (whom you probably may not even have actually seen or met) responds to things that you post (pictures, status updates, etc.).  Just be contented that you have shared them with REAL friends.

People usually get tired of Facebook. You may sometimes see friends who have not updated for months or even years. A lot of the people who create Facebook accounts are doing so just to post pictures or things that are meant to hurt or even make their exes jealous or envious. Facebook has its positives, but in truth, it becomes boring and tedious for people who live meaningful active lives.